Dick's Ditties

I’m Commodore Nick of the Pattie B
And every Sunday I go to sea
And I calculate the winners on my old PC
While Wendy serves the biscuits at afternoon tea.

I’m Lori Hobart of the Flying Scot
Whose shape is lovely and whose lines are hot
I’m gonna be a winner, but so far I’m not.
I’m Lori Hobart of the Flying Scot

I’m Harris Whitehead with boats galore
If my yard was bigger, I would buy some more
But with kids in college I am much too poor.
I’m Harris Whitehead with boats galore

I’m lawyer Kelly with a Rhodes 19.
She once on her mooring but now cannot be seen
We got the call this morning about 6:15
That she’d drifted in the narrows
And was on her beam..

I’m Charlie Whitehead and I’m cheap as sin.
I’d put a sail on a barrel if I thought I’d win
My Lightning craft is a bit antique.
In fact I fear she’s past her peak..

We’re the Maslins with a thousand names,
But when you see us we all look the same
We’re often winners on the bounding Main.
We’re the Maslins with a thousand names.

I am Joy Johnson and I watch each race
I used to be a "hotty" with a Maslin face
Now I am mature with style and grace
I am Joy Johnson and I watch each race.

I’m Mary Hobart and I own the dock
Where the race is started and we keep the clock
I’d like to build a lighthouse if I could get the OK
So there are no more collisions out on the bay.

I’m large Jim Loney with a boat named Tarka
And when it’s cold I wear my parka.
From the Sunday races I stay away
Cause I couldn’t bear to lose on any day.

I’m the ghost of Katherine Berry and I had a red canoe.
I’d paddle in the Basin for a stroke or two.
But soon I got so tired that I could not last
And Macy’d help me up along my hillside path

I’m Macy Whitehead and I learned to sail
On an ancient dory in a pounding gale.
And every time that I go out to sea
I hope its not the last for me.

I’m Richard Kelly and I’ve sailed since youth,
But my back is lousy and I’m long in the tooth.
So I bought a motorboat that suits me just so fine,
And I leave the sailing to you friends of mine.

Look at me, I’m a guy named Kye
I sail small boats and I make them fly.
When I have a big boat, I will pass you by.
Look at me, I ‘m a guy named Kye

I’m Christopher Schwabe of the Humble Pie.
She’s lightening fast and I pass you by.
Now its off to Africa I must fly.
But I’ll be back--- so prepare to cry.

And then there are others who sometimes race
But they find it hard to keep up the pace.
And sometimes surprise us and they win first place
So you better be ready to save some face.

1.About a hundred years ago,
Or was it yesterday,
A maiden and her brother small
Went sailing on the bay.

Chorus:

2,The wind it blew with double force
And they capsized you bet
The water came into the boat
And both of them got wet.

3, The brother small was soon on board
A passing lobster smack
While she remained to save the gear
And tie down what was slack.

4.This poor and foolish maiden
Took off from round her waist
Her soggy, heavy dungarees
Too wet to suit her taste

5.From shore set off three heroes brave
To save the damsel fair:
Her Uncle Bob and Cousin Jim
And Wilbur Bull were there

6.Uncle Bob and Cousin Jim
Were relatives you know
While Wilbur Bull, that handsome lad
Was currently her beau.

Chorus:

7. Too late the foolish maiden.
She made a frantic search.
Her soggy jeans had floated off
And left her in the lurch

8. It seems that she had tied them
Onto a wooden beam
But they had got the wanderlust
To be sea going jeans

Chorus

9. So all that she was wearing
When rescued by those three
Was just the briefest touch of pink
As all could plainly see.

10. An epilog I’ll sing for you
I wrote the other day
And tell you how it all went down
And life came out their way

11. Cousin Jim became a Doc
Which always was his aim
He’d fix your runny noses
And sores that did inflame

12. Wilbur Bull became a coach
In Burlington. Vermont.
His students there all learned to ski
And other stuff he taught

13. Uncle Bob was Macy’s dad,
The eldest of the three,
He died too many years ago
In nineteen fifty three

14. Wilbur and that maiden fair
Each chose a different spouse
Both had happy lives with them
And each a loving house

15. And though the years have swiftly past
And memories have eased
Remember when your sailing
To wear your BVDS.